Friday, July 30, 2010

What might happen if couples do not take the time to plan together their future?

Difficulties will arise and their relationship will take more effort to keep together. Sometimes more effort than one is willing to put in.What might happen if couples do not take the time to plan together their future?
Ever hear of the divorce rate being half of what the marriages are or even more so. If someone wants to to be with another it is really important to plan to a degree your future. This means commuication and working out things between you so you are both on the same page when certain situations arise. So if you take time to work on it you will still find troubles along the way....life long committments are not perfect....but you will be on a better road than say being with a person a year and getting married and not knowing where you are going.What might happen if couples do not take the time to plan together their future?
There is a saying that can answer your question and many other related questions : If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail. Most of the things for advancement in life require a planning. Marriage appears to be harder as you welcome a stranger ( different family, raise differently) to share your life.
Then often one person is viewing the relationship and its future one way while the other person is seeing it a totally different way. Without communication you can end up at two very different points in your relationship with no way back to one another.
Honestly planning is great but life isn't %26amp; really can not be planed.


Sometimes things just happen and you have to deal with them.


That being said, planing does certainly help just be flexible.

Do only married mormon couples were the mormon underwear?

or at what age do they make them start wearing them?Do only married mormon couples were the mormon underwear?
They are called garments.





Anyone who has received their endowment in the temple wears them - or is supposed to anyways. They are a symbol of covenants we have made with God.Do only married mormon couples were the mormon underwear?
Any adult that is mormon and goes through the LDS/mormon temple endowment. ( it copies masonic rituals, and is cold and hipnotic...IMO)


I found NO Loving God there!





Usually men before their ';mission.'; and woman when getting married. But single adult mormons usually go to the temple for ';their endowments'; when ready.


Some older mormon have been taught in the past that the garments can be a physical protection too. See http://www.ldsendowment.org/clothing.htm鈥?/a>





During the washing and anointing ceremony ( in temples) the Mormon member is told the garment ';represents the garment given to Adam when he was found naked in the garden of Eden.';





The person is told that the garment ';will be a shield and a protection to you against the power of the destroyer until you have finished your work here on earth.'; In general, Mormons view the garment as a symbolic and spiritual shield against the powers of Satan.





I did not care for them. I did not see where God cared what underwear you are wearing. The garment to me was a control method.


The LDS church leadership questions weather you are wearing the garments when you go through your temple interview that you must have every 2 years to make sure you are still worthy to enter. You must be paying your 10 persent tithing to the LDS church also, to attain your ';temple recommend.'; A card you show at the temple.





You are allowed to take them off only for: doctor appts, swimming, sports, etc. and for sex, but they are to put them right back on after.


No sleeping nude or in a nightie.





Most mormon know how to spot if a fellow member is wearing the garment. The lines are detectable. My ex's parents seen he was not wearing them, and took him into a bedroom to scold him. Its a huge thing within the mormon church if a member that has been through the ';temple'; stops wearing the garments.


Its a cult tatic.
No one is ever forced to wear them. There's no enforcement mechanism. Any adult who's gone through the temple can, and is encouraged to wear them. 18 is about the youngest under normal circumstances. I suppose if a minor were getting married in the temple, it could be younger than that, but I've never heard of anyone younger than 18 personally.
If you have taken out your endowments in the temple, then you wear temple garments. You have to be about 18, at least. Most young men get theirs at 19 when they go on a mission.
why are you calling them morons?
no it's for everyone and they don't make you wear it


some mormons don't

How do Samer-sex couples fight for their rights?

by voting? going to court.?/ like do they have to go to court? is it a case by case thing?How do Samer-sex couples fight for their rights?
What rights do you mean?How do Samer-sex couples fight for their rights?
I'm assuming you were implying legal rights judging by the included answers you gave. Voting is one way to try to change the law. Petitions and write-in campaigns is another. Raising public awareness and support puts pressure on politicians.





If a couple wants to get married in a state that bans same-sex marriage, they may be able to file a suit. Typically, an organization dedicated to fighting for these rights will file a class action suit on behalf of multiple couples.





Iowa had a huge decision come out recently in which the Supreme Court reversed the ban on same-sex marriage. Judging by the current trend in the country, I'm optimistic that the US Supreme Ct will do the same in the relatively near future. I support equal rights for everyone.





Hope that answers your question.
first thing stop fighting for rights, we LGBT have rights as everyone else, its a shame that ignorance has befallen the world, this is something that i did not wan to see,





my suggestion is to stop stating quotes from the bible and start connecting to your spiritual selves, human failure is that humans need to feel like **** worth nothing if they don't believe in some one greater then them.





spirituality is the only way, if you connect on those bases there is no need for marriage, you are innermarried on a soul level, same sex rights is ignorant, figure something else out that will work, courts have failed to do there job. to be heard is to spread your word around the world and give hope and be more understanding to what smae sex realtion really is instead of lets get horny and fux the whole world gay, until we get gay rights.
Well I don't need to fight no matter how stupid those anti-gays are lol sine they're already hurting themselves by wasting their life trying to take away people's happiness %26amp; freedom. So yeah let the karma get them %26gt;:)
most of them fight for their relationship to last.

On what basis do the judges in ballroom dance score the couples on?

im pretty curious for what they mark down on those boards.On what basis do the judges in ballroom dance score the couples on?
The typical heat of dancers (final round excluded), depending on the size of the ballroom, might have as many as 12 couples on at a time! During competitions, they will usually play about 30-40 seconds of music for each heat. This means the judges have to pick out the best 5-6 couples from each heat in about 30 seconds of judging everyone! (Incidentally, that's what they write down on the boards - the number of the couple who they choose to advance.)








Here's primarily what they look at:


1) Posture/frame: latin vs. standard; tall, big, upright; consistent throughout the dance; looks comfortable/natural


**This is the first thing anyone sees when they look at a couple dancing. This can make or break a dance.





2) Footwork: correct steps for the level; heel vs. toe leads





3) Timing: do the steps match the beat of the music?





4) Intangibles


- BIG smile


- Enthusiasm - is the couple walking around or are they dancing?


- Flare and craft - specific to each dance; is it flowing and graceful (ie. waltz, foxtrot) or is it energetic and stoccato (ie. jive, samba)?





5) Floorcraft - can the couple maneuver around the dance floor without crashing into others?


- Often: can the couple manipulate their routine to adjust for people in their way, or are they stuck to a single choreography?





Those aren't necessarily listed in any particular order. Posture is easily the most important since it's easiest to notice right away if it's good or not. Same goes for timing, but it's much easier to get correct.
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  • At what age do couples stop french kissing?

    I mean getting sloppy nasty!At what age do couples stop french kissing?
    maybe for the same reason they stop having s*x except once a month...


    i don't know???

    Why don't married couples make each other pee their pants in laughter anymore?

    Are couples really just throwing their hands up and accepting boring lives?Why don't married couples make each other pee their pants in laughter anymore?
    Like all famous comics, without new material everything gets old and stale. It takes a lot of work to come up with new funny things, especially the ones that evoke the emotions you so elegantly spoke of. All of our material is provided by our kids, they seem to have a never ending supply sometimes to the point of making milk come out your nose. So do not blame the married couples for having boring lives, blame society for making us the way we are. We should all take a lesson from the children, and stop looking at life like a job and just sit back and have fun.Why don't married couples make each other pee their pants in laughter anymore?
    The problem is that married people use up their best material early in the relationship.





    The second phase is to laugh at your kids until they are teen agers. That's when they aren't so funny anymore.





    I am now to the point where I laugh at my parents more than anything else. It's a little sad, but they are funny as hell.
    wow, you must have some boring friend in relationships to thing that this happens to everyone.


    My husband and i have season tickets to games, go out to movies and comedy show, even topless bars to see migets dance...all in good fun and laugh about it later when we act out some of the things we experience. I'm kinda jelous of my friends cause they go out to exotic vacations and my husband and i havent.....where are you from? a third world country or locked in a closet?
    What married couples are you talking about? I've been married close to a decade and we are always laughing with each other, at each other, making the other laugh.
    married 31 years and still laughing. Never forget to play.


    It seems sad to see so many of our friends just giving up, but I think it is because they forgot how to play like children.
    Wait... what... we're not doing that anymore? Damn it, I didn't realize urinating your pants was ';out.'; Why don't people tell me these things?!
    Ha ha! I pee'd in the bed last night! And then HE changed the bedding!


    It was too effin funny!


    He even sprinkled baking soda on my side!


    Yes, he had me laughing that hard!!!!!!!


    Then we...... ;)
    noooo people just get use to each other, but if your a real comedian you can get a chuckle..or you can read jokes online that seem funny and then say it ,,, :)
    He can still do that to me. But not right now, argh!!!!!! I am so irritated with him right now!
    I try to make her laugh. Not that hard though.
    I can't wait to pee my pants with my husband to be LOL!!!
    its your fault .. now get in there and make him laugh .. good luck ..

    Why do so many couples have more than two kids if they cannot afford more than one or two?

    I am seeing too many of such couples complaining, whining and ending up stressed-out by working their guts out. Okay, I can understand if this happens in less developed countries like China or India, where people are not well-educated. But, why even in countries like the United States?Why do so many couples have more than two kids if they cannot afford more than one or two?
    well u see when a man and a woman love each other very much


    or get very drunk


    lol


    most people dont want to terminate pregancys or give their children awayWhy do so many couples have more than two kids if they cannot afford more than one or two?
    The last I checked it was not illegal to whine or complain, which is kind of what you're doing now.


    Obviously you've forgotten about China's one child only policy... how well is that working out?
    You can never have enough money. It doesn't matter if you have one kid or 4 kids. I have four, i stay at home while my husband works, and we make it just fine. All you have to do is cut back on how you spend your money. I shop at goodwill and gargae sales, and some resale shops that don't rip ya off. We rent a few movies a month instead of going to the theater that charges way too much anyway. Only once a month we treat the kids to dinner out, and even at that, it's like mcdonalds...that's what the younger ones pick...or taco bell or cici's. we always let them pick it cause it's their treat. there are so many ways to cut back and still have lots of fun with the kids. It's not supposed to be so stressful. I think we do that to ourselves. God Bless.
    You're asking a stupid question thats been asked a million times and will be continued to stump people. Easy answer. because humans don't see sex as a means of reproducing. They see it as fun, pleasure and a way to get attention and there are no 100% effective forms of birth control other then abstinence and whats the fun in that? Don't waste your time and energy wondering about this because it will never be solved. Inless someone passes the law that all unmarried women get implanted birth control devices. Which still means nothing because they are not 100% and even married people can be poor. Oh and China less developed? HA HA HA
    Lack of intellect is one of the leading causes of pregnancy, followed directly by lack of protection.
    Things happen.
    because they're too lazy to use protection. Bottom line. And some of you are going to say that I'm wrong, but you all know I'm right.





    I know people that didn't want one, not they have 3 or 4.......give me a break........They say, I don't know how it happened. Yes they did. they got all hot and didn't wanna bother using the protection.
    thats easy, they won't stop f*'ckin! and they too lazy to go on pills and use condoms xP
    Ummm.... Everybody doesn't plan to have more than what they afford. There is no protection that is 100%. Just because you are in the U.S doesn't mean its easy for you and the price increases on everything doesn't help either. DUH!! Worry about your own problems.
    China and India, not well-educated?


    ok if it happens, according to you,


    but have you think that it happens in US because MAYBE it is not well-educated.


    just asking!


    not against in any country.


    i'm only disapproving the way of your questioning others country.


    and for the couples who have more children that they can't afford,


    it is their right to have many children as they want,


    as long as they not disturbing the other on their living,


    it is their problem how can they make or have a better living
    that's life.
    I ask myself the same question every single day. People have poor planning and some people figure they'll just have to deal with it. With so many social programs out there it's really not that difficult. I actually heard a mother of 11 when asked why she has so many babies but can't afford them say ';God will provide'; (God and the state of California seem to be the same person, lol).
    Unplanned pregnancies. There are alot of people who have one child that they can't afford. And no protection is 100%.
    who cares it's their bed they lie in it but if they ever needed help i would be there i am pregnant with my 3rd child and we are in a well off position with only one of us working. My partner packs tomato's for a living and on the weekends he is a musician from that alone he makes 4000 dollars a month from playing for 8 hours on a weekend and he gets 4.5 thousand from packing tomatoes but he is going for a managers position and he is more then qualified for the job but without that we are still doing very well. Oh yeah and i am 19 with an advanced diploma of applied social science so i think you need to butt out of everyone elses business and just don't listen when they winge about how hard done by they are.
    well, you never know it could happen to anyone even you
    Sh!t happens. I became pregnant with our 3rd child even though I was on birth control AND we used a condom. (I had missed a pill, so we used a condom to ';be safe';.) It was obviously meant to happen whether we thought we were ready for it or not. I could never abort a child and there was no way we would give our 3rd child up for adoption. We just simply cut some things out of our budget to make room for the new baby. Instead of going out to eat on Friday nights, we buy more diapers. Instead of brand new, brand name clothes for the kids, I shop at garage sales..... When you love your children, you do what you have to do to make it work.





    *BTW - We are not on any government financial assistance. We also do not ';whine or complain';. We aren't ';stressed out'; either. We just rely on the fact that things always work out for the best. When you're at the bottom of the hill, there's nowhere to go but up!
    Because some people have religious views that rely on natural family planning and not birth control.





    You can't just tell someone to close their legs and expect them to listen to you...
    honestly I believe that for most they just want an easy life and complain about everything now.


    most of those people who complain also have a home two cars and complain because they want an RV or great vacations.


    When you have children you cut out the extras in the budget until you have enough for the kids and the extras.


    We live on one income with two children we cut out a ton of things so I can be a stay at home mama we don't complain about what we don't have but are happy with what we do have.


    (we do not use any ';free or state aids';)
    Firstly with all the social programs we have people can afford to have as many kids as they want. Doesn't mean I believe in welfare but it can be done but maybe not in the states where I believe social programs are just for the very poor. And also things usually work out just fine - why worry about it.
    Why does this concerne you?





    Don't worry about what other people do.
    Because having children is not about money. Its about loving your kids. If you show love to your kids that is all that matters. Material things shouldn't matter.
    Because people have no pride in themselves and have no problem using the government as a crutch.





    And in answer to someone elses answer....relying on social programs and the state is not affording to have kids. Its having kids you can't afford and not taking responsibility for them yourselves.
    Accident's happen!





    Ask ur parent's if ur one lol





    who isn't


    '


    is not like ppl wake up and say..omg..going to get a new baby today..





    it takes two..lol..

    Can Clomid help couples with PCOS and Low Sperm?

    My husband and I have been trying for 2 and a half years now to conceive. We have recently found that he has low sperm and low motility, Plus I have PCOS. I was wondering if we still have a chance with Just clomid and intercourse before trying the IUI. We would like to stay as cheap as possible and if we have a chance with just intercourse using clomid, we would like to try that first...... any info or advice is appreciated!Can Clomid help couples with PCOS and Low Sperm?
    It doesn't hurt to try.





    Low sperm count doesn't mean pregnancy is impossible, just more difficult to achieve. However, not ovulating means pregnancy is impossible. Try the clomid and see if it stimulates ovulation for you.Can Clomid help couples with PCOS and Low Sperm?
    If you aren't ovulating, Clomid may help you ovulate. It will not help the sperm count, however.





    One thing to keep in mind is that you are usually limited to 6 cycles of Clomid. (Excessive use may have long term risks.) So the question is, do you want to possibly 'waste' several cycles trying without IUI, or do you want to optimize your chances each cycle by addressing both problems (ovulation and sperm quality) from the start?





    This would be something to discuss with your doctor.
    u could go online n look up fertilaid www.fertilaid.com n also u could look up maca
    Sorry I do not know, I am 30 years old now....and I too have PCOS and have been experiencing irregular periods for last 13 years. I am freaking out with the thought will i conceive or no. Wish you good luck... everything will go fine.
    You will eventually conceive :) Try the clomid for six months and see if it works for you. I was told with a low sperm count, motility, and morphology to definetely do the IUI. Good luck :)

    Which classic Disney couples probably got a divorce?

    Since divorce is so common, which Disney couples probably ended up divorcing too?





    Why?Which classic Disney couples probably got a divorce?
    Donald Duck and Daisy. Listening to that hot-headed squaky voiced duck all the time would kill anyones attraction.Which classic Disney couples probably got a divorce?
    Divorce is not that common where I come from and most marriages here are healthy and last... illegitimacy thought has been happening here for sometime (usually outside of marriage and not within...)





    Also don't ruin Disney )=





    Nonetheless which one would end up divorcing?





    Kida and that guy from Atlantis


    He's a geek and she's a white haired ''free spirited'' pretty girl
    Snow White and that guy. She cheated on him with dwarf number 1, then cheated on dwarf 1 with dwarf 2, then on 2 with 3, on 3 with 4, 4 with 5, and on 5 with 7. No one likes dwarf number 6.
    Ariel and Eric, she only liked him for his looks and she's young and he was her first, they rushed into marriage. Plus, how do they have family get-togethers? You know that their families have problems with each other. One of his family members probably ate one of her friends and that was the end of that





    Another would be


    Kiara and Kovu from the second Lion King. She was a stuck up princess and he was a wimp that was suppose to be a ';bad boy';
    Ariel and Eric





    Because every conversation goes:





    Ariel: I miss Melody


    Eric: Well you had to live in the ocean before you met me, so...


    Ariel: What's that supposed to mean


    Eric: I dunno, what's it sound like Ariel?


    Ariel: Flounder would understand!


    Eric: And here's your second problem, your only friends are SEA CREATURES
    Hm...


    Snow White. She didn't even know the guy until the last page of the book, and he just comes up, kisses her, and takes her away from the 7 dwarfs on his white steed.


    If I was Snow White, when he kissed me awake from death, I would have slapped him for kissing me when I didn't even know him!
    Beauty and the Beast..Before he turned into a man.





    In today's society nothing like that would ever be accepted. They would be frowned upon. Belle's love for the beast would not be strong enough to uphold. They would be destined to divorce.
    Beauty and the Beast.





    Why? Um....is there really an explanation.





    Ok well here it is. She got arrested for beastiality. Yup. The cops got her. But wait, isn't it legal in some places in europe? nvm it's illegal in France. Yup. She went to Jail and they found a nice zoo for the beast.
    sleeping beauty and whatever his name was...also snow white and her hubby...


    if you think about it, they didn't even know each other, both sleeping beauty and snow white were asleep most of the time, they just kissed once and decided to get married
    http://brettberk.com/wp-content/uploads/…
    Snow White: The prince ended up with one of the seven dwarfs.


    Cinderella: The prince cheated with one of the mean step-sisters.


    Shrek(Donkey %26amp; the Dragon): Unrealistic relationship in the 1st place.LOL.
    Prince Charming and Cinderella.





    My theory? They had a shitload of kids, stopped talking to each other, Prince was sleeping with other women, and Cinderella left his a*s and made him pay for child support.
    The Princess and the Frog


    Bestiality is so looked down upon.





    By the Snow White can't get a divorce, because she believes in polygamy.
    Prince Charming %26amp; Cinderella, she even looks like Kate Gosselin


    The Little Mermaid and that other dude because their values in each other were purely superficial v.v


    Sleeping Beauty/Snow White and that dude, because all they did was make out T.T
    Probably Ariel and Eric; my guess is she missed the water too much. And he probably realized she was some silly little 16 year old girl... Hahaha
    The Little Mermaid + Prince Eric, because they had nothing in common, she just thought he was goodlooking.
    Cinderella and prince charming had a pretty nasty divorce.
    Donald duck and daisy duck. He had anger issues.
    Aladdin %26amp; Jasmine.





    Aladdin can't seem to tell the truth. They fight in every movie that has Jafar.
    all of em





    i am sure that they all cheat in the Disney kingdom


    (even in lion king) %26lt;====beastiality EWWW
    The Little Mermaid and Prince Eric. I think everybody covered the reasons why for me. lol
    snow white because of those seven dwarves hanging around (and if he's the jealous type....)
    Snow White and that prince.





    She's into the dwarfs. All of them. At once.
    Beauty and the Beast.
    Donald and Daisy Duck
    Snow White and Prince Charming.
    Sleeping Beauty and her man. She found him with many other sleeping women. She wasn't ever the first.
    Snow White and Prince Charming





    cause his fetish for sleeping/dead women
    beauty and the beast!
    Jajaja Beuaty n da beast, lol
    Beauty and the Beast......
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  • Where is best to go on holiday early september for couples, beaches good night life but not mad like Malia?

    I went to Crete last year and that was amazing. I have no idea where to go this year as going in September so not sure where is good to go at that point. Was thinking of going to Dominican but its the rain seaon in Sept HELP ME lolWhere is best to go on holiday early september for couples, beaches good night life but not mad like Malia?
    Mexico will be cheap.Where is best to go on holiday early september for couples, beaches good night life but not mad like Malia?
    It depends on your budget, however since you enjoyed Crete so much why not visit Rhodes, Corfu, Cyprus or any of the Greek islands. All are just as good as each other and you are sure of a great welcome from the locals. Research all destinations at


    holidays uncovered.com


    Keep away from the busy resorts for a more relaxing holiday, try


    Pefkos in Rhodes


    Pathos in Cyprus


    Sidari in Corfu


    The Dominican is an all eclusive destination and as said it is the best time of year to go, September in Greece is still hot and will be better if on a budget.


    Check out deals with


    sunmaster.com


    good luck

    Do fighting married couples have a long term relationship?

    do you think its healthy to live with a person who is extremely aggressive and abusive and immatured and he emotionally and mentally black mails you due to his weakness and failures in life ? how can you change such a person and what is the solution to this.....Do fighting married couples have a long term relationship?
    You can't change him. Get the heck out of that relationship and that house before somebody carry you outta there with a body bag! Girl, what's wrong with you?!!!!!!!Do fighting married couples have a long term relationship?
    Are you fighting, arguing, or have a heated discussion? There鈥檚 a big difference.





    People do not change. They may learn to act more civilizes or get along with others, but their characteristics and mannerisms are there from the moment of their conception. They do not change!





    You don鈥檛 say how long you have been married, so it鈥檚 a little difficult to accurately answer this question, but if he鈥檚 mean and nasty to you now, he just might always be that way, unless you talk to him about it to find out why he鈥檚 like that?





    If you鈥檙e newlyweds, you can expect some trying times and turbulence for at least a year, because you are adjusting to the married life and sharing everything, which takes longer or is harder for some to adjust to the transition from single life to married life, because a lot changes when you get married. No more coming and going when you want to. However, if you can make it through the first few years of marriage, then you have won half the battle.





    However, marriage is a never ending work in progress and you cannot give up or get out at every little bump in the road. If you鈥檙e married for many years, there will be many little bumps and valleys to climb up, over and above. It鈥檚 a give and take relationship, and there has to a negative and positive personality in the relationship. If you鈥檙e both the same it gets boring. Someone has to be uplifting and funny, while the other keeps everything grounded. But at the same time you have to have a lot in common. Both parties have to be willing to compromise and to swallow their pride from time to time. A lot of understanding, trust, and honesty go a long way.





    Don鈥檛 nag over the little things (nothing fights). Make sure you think things through, before starting an argument. Not hanging up his towel or putting the lid back on the toothpaste is really quite silly things to argue or nit-pick about. If he鈥檚 spending money you don鈥檛 have or not spending any time at all with you, then its time to bring out the big guns!





    If you have been married for a while and things are still rocky, perhaps you should both seek counseling. If he won鈥檛 go, you should go on your own to see if you can gain any knowledge on your own that might help save your marriage.





    That鈥檚 why young people should not get married, just to see what it鈥檚 like to be married. It鈥檚 a serious union, with hard long winding roads. It has many ups and down, peaks and valley, and it should never be taken lightly or for granted. Good Luck!
    you can't change anyone, you can only change yourself or how you deal with the other person. If the abuse is bad in that you fear for your life... I believe the marriage covenant has been broken and you can divorce. That's what I did. God does not want us to live in fear of the person that we are supposed to be one with.


    Now since then I remarried a really sweet guy, we argue just like any normal couple (no abuse) just disagreeing, but we can live long term together because there is mutual love and respect. my husband would never hurt me or lay a hand on me because he loves me. if someone hits you, they don't respect you and I don't care how much they say they love you, they are lying and they don't love you.
    As you were typing this, did YOU think it is healthy? You can't change someone significantly. Little things like teaching them to put the toilet seat down or not to leave their panties hanging on the shower rack. But you will never change someones personal makeup. It is what it is. I have been married for 14 years and it is the truth i am giving you. If this is the type of person you are with then you have set yourself up for a life of misery. Out of all the fish in the sea you have caught yourself a minnow.
    First of all, I am sure that this person was not like this when you got married. Try to talk to them into going to talk to your local priest or pastor about this. If they won't then you need to try to get counseling in another way. If they still refuse to do that then there is no hope and it might be time to call it quits.





    At this point in the marriage, it is really up to you if you want to try to keep it. Physical abuse is nothing to take lightly! It only gets worse and eventually leads to death.





    My prayers are with you!
    No way.


    But you can always get the best of someone by appreciating his/her good parts and they may someway, sometimes to cooperate.


    I say ''sometimes'' because it's obviously that only that person's will is the one who shall move the mountain alongside with your smile :)


    ''Fight'' is GOOD only for the cool ones, to get them hotter :))
    You can't change him but he can change himself.


    Men keep emotionally maturing until about 30.





    And no, does not sound healthy.
    you can't change someone, only they can change themselves...and life is too short to stay with someone who is abusive. at least in my opinion. been there, done that...LEFT HIM!
    duhhhhh........ if you really don't know the answer, then you deserve to stay and try to change him.....have fun, try not to get beaten to death
    no it's not healthy, you can't change a person like this. the solution to this is you either put up with it or you leave.
    you CANNOT change a person unless he takes conscious moves. I tried to do all that crap but my husband keeps bringing his old self in to the family.
    Only he can change- you can't make a man change! It is not healthy to stay in a relationship like this.
    A healthy relationship depends on everything..how you communicate, interact, feel, work around schedules, living arrangements. The person you live with may have faults that I would find livable where others would leave within a week. It depends on each of us and how we view what is in front of us. It also depends on what the topics that start this behavior are and how they start and who starts them. It depends on how long it has been going on and to what degree the person is allowed to get to before it is considered abuse by the other. There is usually a trigger to the behavior and how it is handled depends on the wording and structure of the argument. Trying to change a person if they don't want to change is very difficult and darn near impossible. If you look at the person verses looking at the situation and how it is being handled then the person sees fingers being pointed and will build a wall of defense. It is easier to view what causes the outburst and how they are handled by you..and then change your behavior and the way you display feedback...this in return will change the way they process it and respond..so your not changing them...your changing the structure of the situation and there for they change because changes are being made that causes a different response. For example...my husband and I are very stuborn...we will not give and we will stand our ground. It got us no where, and solved nothing. I just simply changed the way I handled the situation..Instead of giving feedback that encouraged fighting..I would think before I'd answer and say things like ';I feel... or I understand how you feel..or I don't want to fight with you lets talk about this when we are not so mad...or when I see you do this I feel...'; that made a world of difference just by using I verses you statements...when you use you...it is negative and it puts the person in a hot seat...when you use I it states how you see things and how you feel that allows them to think and feel without feeling blamed. It is also good to assess the dispute..is it really worth fighting about..pick your battles..if it isn't going to get you anywhere then let it go if you can. There are reasons why we are drawn to people of this nature..one must first figure out why you are attractive to this personality before you can change things. Chances are there are probably issues with oneself that draws them to such a person. When you find out who you are it is harder for someone else to have impact with this kind of behavior because you don't allow it to control the situation..and you don't offer fuel to the fire..which leaves them stuck. If one realizes why they chose this person and why they live in this situation..then one can change it...weather it is changing how you respond...or realizing ones own weaknesses and getting out of the relationship all together. If you really love the person..a hundred people can tell you to leave and it is a waste of words. Telling you to change the person doesn't support the whole picture...one must view the situation from the outside in when you are involved. Chances are it is both that trigger the issues. People like this will feed off of those who allow this behavior..and why would one allow this behavior is the question that really needs answered first..then you set the setting for why it happens...when...where...and to what extent it goes to. Feeling good about yourself allows you to stand up for yourself and make healthy choices. If you don't stand up for yourself then you allow others to influence and take charge of the situation. Abuse normally triggers to ones past..not always..but normally. Look at both your past and see where one could have been influenced to do or allow this behavior to surface...talk about it and see how it is affecting your life and how both of you can better from a change. It does take two, and if you refuse to leave...then you need to adjust your life to influence change in the relationship. Don't allow his manipulation to influence you. Tell him it is his choice to do what he does and if he wants to act like this then you don't want to be around him. Don't allow him to place fear. He can only black mail you if you allow..so don't give him anything that allows that. And be honest with him and use I statements that express how you feel and that your serious...I know I can't change you...but I am telling you I have had enough of this...I feel like you and I need to change this or there is going to be no relationship soon because I don't feel that this is helping either one of us to grow..try that kind of opening...give the person something to think about without pointing fingers. And us time alone to think as to why you accept this...and how do you respond to this behavior...and do you influence it...and how long has it been going on...is this the only relationship that this has happened in...and what was your childhood like? did you see others in this role...did you live with issues...most

    DESCRIMINATION AGAINST INTERRACIAL COUPLES IN GREEN CARD INTERVIEWS?

    IF AN INTERRACIAL COUPLE WHO ARE A TRUE MARRIAGE GO TO THE GREEN CARD INTERVIEW WILL THEY BE TREATED WITH RACIAL HATRED AND DESCRIMINATION BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT BOTH THE SAME SKIN COLOR? I WONDER IF THEY (THE USCIS) SOMETIMES DELIBERATELY ACCUSE INTERRACIAL COUPLES OF MARRIAGE FRAUD BECAUSE THE INTERVIEWER MIGHT HAVE RACIAL HATRED AND BIAS TOWARDS COUPLES WHO ARENT THE SAME SKIN COLOR? AND BECAUSE THEY MIGHT BELIEVE THAT THE ONLY REAL MARRIED COUPLE IS A COUPLE THAT ARE BOTH WHITE. DOES ANYONE RECOMMEND A CIVIL RIGHTS LAWYER FOR INTERRACIAL COUPLES GOING THROUGH THE GREEN CARD INTERVIEW?DESCRIMINATION AGAINST INTERRACIAL COUPLES IN GREEN CARD INTERVIEWS?
    get over yourself, it has nothing to do with interracial couples. Do you not think these people see thousands of interracial couples a day. Everyone must prove that their marriage is legit. Too many couples are committing marriage fraud and it is great that they are checking to make sure this is not another phony.DESCRIMINATION AGAINST INTERRACIAL COUPLES IN GREEN CARD INTERVIEWS?
    Yes. It is policy. You should have thought that through before you got ';Jungle Fever';. The ways of the world are not the ways of your juvenile, rebellious mind. Squirrells do not mate with turtles.
    chill out man!


    If everything is true about you and your partner then you have nothing to worry about.


    I think your mind is stuck 50 years ago


    its 2008 interracial couples are everywhere now days!



    There is no discrimination. They may only want to know if everything is legitimate.
    Why are you screaming? Turn off the caps. Your post is shrill.

    What makes old couples argue so much?

    Do they grow to hate each other over time?What makes old couples argue so much?
    yes... we are all doomed!What makes old couples argue so much?
    Well i think with any couples it just happens.In relationships we really know how to bring the best and the worst out of eachother.Overtime it just gets worst i suppose.
    My parents don't argue. Never really have. My dad just goes to sleep or does what my mom says because what she says is usually really good.
    Extreme agitation over where the air conditioning dial should be in the car.
    Im not sure maybe the woman would ecome bossy and deman things and the guy would become fed up
    irritation towards each other
    Familiarity.
    Senility
    Boredom..
    The old woman being on the menopause and don't get action x LOL %26gt;.%26lt;
    arthritis, dementia and price of teabags
    they got nothing else to do.....no job or anything, so they argue!
    Demnture! There rowing about where there false teeth are!
    its not just old couples - we argue and its her fault

    Fun things for couples to do without money?

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 months now, and we're constantly bored with our relationship. Its not that we're bored of each other at allllll.. its just that we can never find anything to do. Both of us are currently unemployed and don't have any money to go out. Does anyone have any suggestions on things for us to do that are free ? Besides obvious answers like playing video games, watching tv, or watching movies.Fun things for couples to do without money?
    GO JOB HUNTING TOGETHER!! PROBLEM SOLVED!!





    U WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT NOT HAVING MONEY AND LOOKING FOR FREE THINGS TO DO!Fun things for couples to do without money?
    take a midnight walk (somewhere safe), go exploring in an old town, take a picnic, watch a sunset on a beach, oceanside OR has some greta little (cheap!) shops and a great little motel and cafe. there is also a hole in the rock that separates the beaches. it's also fun to wade in the tides, they have lots of shiny shells an cool rocks. it's very fun, but watch the forecast.
    go to a park, picnic, short hikes, board games, card games, teach each other how to dance (there's great stuff on youtube), cook with each other, play 20 questions, rub each others feet and talk at the same time, jogging, there's lots of things you can do!!!
    Beach...Park...Night Downtown





    Sex in All those places are fun as well :)





    Good Luck! Keep it Juicy
    go for walks in the park, cycling, trips to aquariums/zoo (u can pay w/e u want, i know its not cool but im trying here), hang out with friends, picnic's, gym, and *cough* other stuff :)
    Intercourse is always fun
    go for a walk and watch the sunset, then eat maybe (picnic) talk deeply, then watch the stars
    Go to the park

    What are some of the best vacation spots for young couples?

    my boyfriend and I wanted to go away on a short trip (3-4 days) to somewhere not too far away. We live in Baltimore, MD so we were thinking about just going to a beach maybe New Jersey, Delaware, maybe even Virgina. it will be to celebrate my 18th birthday so does anyone know what the best beach to go to would be? we want it to have beach, boardwalk, things to do for young people. also what do you think a reasonable price would be to budget for the trip?..hotel, spending money..etc. Thanks!!What are some of the best vacation spots for young couples?
    Hell worked out well for me and my wife on our honeymoon. The return trip was a nightmare, but getting there was easy.What are some of the best vacation spots for young couples?
    I went with a boyfriend to Daytona Beach, Florida. Tons to do (shopping, socializing) and the beach was amazing. I also LOVE the west coast. Tons of awesome beaches there.

    Gays and lesbian couples corrupt little kids by turning them gay too?

    okay so i hear many people complaining how when gays and lesbians adopt kids, they become the same way too because of influence. when they grow up, they will marry the same gender.





    but i told them that that doesn't make sense b/c how can straight people have gay/lesbian children.





    so the real question is have you seen any lesbian and gay couples that adopt kids and the kids were straight and married the opposite gender?Gays and lesbian couples corrupt little kids by turning them gay too?
    I have many straight friends that were raised by gay parents. I have seen many straight parents raise gay kids. I have seen it all. people that argue this are just full of hate and is afraid of change.Gays and lesbian couples corrupt little kids by turning them gay too?
    For your information, the people who say that meant the more ';bi-curious kids'; that would had been straight, if never grew up with gay parents.





    with gay parents, it might keep making them do it, and open their mind more about the subject...





    Kind of like girls who never think about another girl, untill they start noticing other girls flirting with them or touching them...with gay parents it comes out faster...
    ive met gay parents who had straight kids.....ive never met someone gay who had gay parents..so i think we should blame straight people for having gay kids...
    i was raised by gay gypsies and yes i must admit i like little boy dick
    I'm a lesbian and I have two boys. and they both tell me they like girls. I always tell them to do whatever makes you happy. I will love them no matter who they fall in love with.
    uhh yea i'm sure we all have. we dont adopt children and corrupt them to the gay side. i would have to say the children who grow up with parents who are the same sex are more likely to experiment but that doesnt mean they're gay.
    the answer to your question is yes.





    there are straight parents who raise gay children, gay parents who raise straight children, single parents who raise gay children and straight children, divorced parents who raise gay children and straight children...


    need i continue?
    YES you see it alot more then the kids being gay, and the fact is its not how we are raised we are born either gay or straight! i was a tomboy growing up and i consider myself femme though i do still dress slightly tomboyish from to time so im sorta in between femme/tomboy. i had a single mother and im gay, personally, if and when i have a child i would love them either way! im not going to lie that i wouldnt be excited if my daughter/son turned out to be gay but i would be just as proud of them if they were straight as well!

    Are there any couples meetings in the SF Bay Area?

    If so, where, when, how much do they cost, %26amp; it is credible/have they helped you?





    Bf of nearly 2 yrs and I have a good relationship but we have doubts about longevity b/c our lifestyles are so different and we struggle with little things. I question the depth of our love b/c he doesnt confide any of his weaknesses or fears, etc etc. %26amp; I feel our life mission isn't the same. I would hate to be on my own if Im traveling to other countries, trying to help those in need, etc. It is much more motivating to have ure other half behind u every step of the way....


    Anyway thanks in advance.Are there any couples meetings in the SF Bay Area?
    Support Group for Building Partnerships and Healthy Relationships


    http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/grp/4381鈥?/a>

    What is the best city for Black male / Latina couples and dating?

    I've heard that because Dominicanas and Puerto Rican women like Black men more than Mexicanas and Cubanas do, NYC is the best place for these relationships. Do you agree?What is the best city for Black male / Latina couples and dating?
    California. At my old school, I've seen alot of Mexican girls with black guys. I'd say Los Angeles.What is the best city for Black male / Latina couples and dating?
    Yes I agree to some extend. But your statement makes San Juan the best city not NYC;-).


    There are also hundreds of sites for Lation/Hispanic/Spainsh dating. Try one of those. This site looks good: http://www.lovelyhispanic.com because its free and it has lots of features. The day of paid dating site is over. now with Sites like plentyoffish and others free dating site you can easily find your perfect matches.


    BTW, when are you going to San Juan?





    I hope this helps.
    Miami, you see those couples all the time.


    Also California, it's very diverse there %26amp; as i've heard everyone mixes over there lol ;D





    NYC would be the best choice overall i guess...
    WOW WHAT KINDA QUESTION IS THIS....???





    IM DOMINICAN AND I LOVE ALL RACES BUT


    UMM TRY TAMPA FL OR GO TO MIAMI OR SOMETHING
    YESSS


    NYC is filled with Dominicans And Puerto Ricans


    and I'm sure more than half of them date black men.


    trust me I lived there 4 about 5 years


    I would know
    I do not agree at all either!





    Free Dating Tips! http://www.finalseduction.com
    you heard wrong.
    East LA!

    Who has more hang ups about age differences between couples? Men or women?

    LIke if a man is say.... 10 years younger than the woman he is with or if a man is 10 years older than the woman he is with? Do women have more of an issue with that when seeing a couple who have age differences like that or does a man have more issue with it?





    I'd say that women are more critical of a relationship when the woman is older than the men are. What do you think?Who has more hang ups about age differences between couples? Men or women?
    Women...It used to me all right for a man to has a younger woman but if a woman has a younger man for a partner...She is now called a ';Cougar';.Who has more hang ups about age differences between couples? Men or women?
    I agree with you,,I feel women would worry more about the age difference..They would be concerned with every wrinkle, gray hair,,Or they might show some concern when their man is around women his own age,, Where as I don't think a man would make that big of deal say he was 10 years older than the woman, he would tend to take it all as a matter of fact,,, Guess it's the male ego ..
    Women are of course.


    we don't want to be called perv's or cradle robbers, but men ? they'll go there if it looks good to them. I had to overcome alot of mental restrictions, in order to be with my 20 year younger man. I couldn't believe he was serious about me, but that's was 10 years ago and he's the only man i have ever truely devoted myself to.
    Women. Many will go out of their way to try to sabotage relationships between different aged couples. Especially if a man their age is with a younger woman.
    If you count fathers of the women involved in the relationships, I'd say men have more issues with it.
    I feel on average that women are much more open than men.
    women are usually more critical about everything so yes i say women
    I think women do.
    mike pwnz all.
  • blush
  • Are married couples happier before children?

    It seems kids put a strain on a marriage for some reason? is this the top reasons for divorces and spats?Are married couples happier before children?
    No, I think the top reason usually is finances, which kids can be related to. We were nervous about having kids since our life seemed so perfect and we didn't want anything to mess it up! But having children has really added a whole new dimension to our happiness. Kids might add a little to the budget, but they pay for themselves in entertainment value. I don't know how many nights, my husband and I have just sat there and watched the kids playing and being silly and mentioned how much better entertainment it was than a tv show! And until they are older, they go to bed by 8pm, so you still have a good three hours for ';married'; time together.





    Oh, but I do want to add that being PREGNANT adds a big strain to a marriage. Yeah, I'm pregnant right now and have basically been camped out on the couch for the last three months because every time I move, sit up, stand, walk, turn slightly, change rooms (different air pressures and humidity), smell something slightly off, or haven't eaten something in the last two hours, I VOMIT! So, no, ';Mama ain't happy'; when she can't move and is eating nothing but popsicles! The kids aren't happy because I haven't been able to give them the attention they need, and my husband isn't happy because he is having to do all the cooking and cleaning all of a sudden. So, pregnancy itself definitely isn't the glowing royal treatment you would think. Haha.Are married couples happier before children?
    heck yeah! anybody who says otherwise is only lying





    children are very hard work and take up (a good parent's) every thought and piece of time. ultimately, your reward from having them isn't even guaranteed to come and usually doesn't show up until later in life. they make dealing w/ your already hectic life and accomplishments at hand all the more difficult. that, in turn, takes its toll on your relationship and mood, temperament etc... i actually think many couples aren't even smart enough to put 2 +2 together, but again, the answer to your question is yes
    i wouldnt say kids are the top reasons for divorce n marriage spats but they do cause some strains especially when it comes to decision making involving kids...


    and yes i would say married couples are happier b4 the children arrive. its just the 2 of u , you can go anywhere as and when u want w/o having to worry about diaper change, milk and feeding time, the inconvenience of travelling....and of course the spats come when the bulk of child rearing responsibilty fall on the mother altho she may be working full time like her hubby..
    my husband and I never had an argument until after our kids were born. there is a lot to having kids. you have to learn new roles as parents and role-models. there are disagreements as to how the kids should be raised and figuring out what is and isn't important. Now, we also have more concerns about what we do with our money and who should be allowed around them, because not all people are suited to be around children.


    I don't think I was happier before, but it was simpler.





    wow, I just noticed that I followed you from P%26amp;S ha ha
    NO people are living a more active lifestyle without kids. children, when planned, tend to create a bond between a couple that can never be duplicated. i know it sounds cheesy but if your idea of fun is slam hammered in a club then no you wont be happy. but if your perfect feeling is christmas morning then your life and relationship will be enriched by children.
    Having babies mean more work, less time for rest and first few years can be really hard for working moms. All it takes is a good, reasonable and responsible husband to keep the marriage alive. :-)
    Of course they put strain on a marriage. Bringing up little people is no child's play, you know. But children are not the reason marriages break up, unless one of the two decides after the fact that they don't want the responsibility.
    Hi from France 鈾?br>




    Happier ? I don't think ! .. It's just different ! Anyway the desire to have children is instinctive ( like many things in the life), and humans need to follow their instincts...





    Have a nice day,





    Cat.
    Yes because you can have time for each other. And they are happy with children because it gives you a reason to do something in life.
    I have to say ';yes'; to a point.

    My spouse and I are going on a cruise in May. How easy is it to meet other couples for swinging?

    While I personally think this post is a joke and you just want to see if you get responsces, I will answer seriously in case you are not full of it!! Read the personal ads in the plethora of swingers magazines for cruises put together by other swingers or start one yourself (Its easy to block rooms with the cruise lines--their customer service agents will help). In all honesty I think you'd be better off going to Hedonism. You stand a much better chance meeting others with similar interests to yours at a resort whose name says it all! It most definately will not be easy to meet other swingers on regular cruises as the cruise lines won't stand for any overt advertising by you or your spouse to attract attention.My spouse and I are going on a cruise in May. How easy is it to meet other couples for swinging?
    they have cruises for swingers, and also gay and lesbian...check with a travel agent.....My spouse and I are going on a cruise in May. How easy is it to meet other couples for swinging?
    One other option is to find swinger web sites and post the cruise you will be on. If others see that, they may respond.
    its easy


    there will be lots of couples that you can go and talk to
    talk to ppl be nice
    I know I am young but I know quite a lot. It is most easiest when you go on a cruise for adults only to find other couples. Most likely on a cruise with Dance classes.
    Why don't you just go on a swingers cruise?

    Does anyone know a good place to go for couples for 4th of July?

    My boyfreind and I are trying to find a nice place to go for fireworks, but not spend a lot of money, any suggestions? We are in Richmond, Virginia if that hekps any.Does anyone know a good place to go for couples for 4th of July?
    go to the poconos

    What must the thrill and excitement be like ? when couples are swinging in the same room ?

    do they carry on a conversation during ?What must the thrill and excitement be like ? when couples are swinging in the same room ?
    the excitement comes from watching your partner enjoying what is being done to them ...seeing them with a look of pure pleasure on their face...as you find your own pleasure...its just about sex.What must the thrill and excitement be like ? when couples are swinging in the same room ?
    Bob: How's her pussy taste, Bill?


    Bill: (his head buried between Jen's loins) arrwarerserddsgoooofd -- slurp!


    Jen: Sarah, youre letting him sodomize you!!?


    Sarah: OOOH YEAAH, oh god, oh god thats it, it feels so gooood, its massive, Bob, how did you get it so BIG????


    etc, etc.
    marriage and divorce category is perfect for this question..


    no matter what im sure they both will carry on a conversation during the divorce proceedings
    Must be a pretty boring conversation.
    Thrill and excitement? You mean treachery and betrayal.
    Not interested~!
    I dont think they would be doing any talking.
    I think it depends on the couples.





    Cheers,





    Kempos
    EEW - YUCK!!!!
    I hope they vacuum up well lol
    nasty


    i prefere screwing then doing that
    I shall leave the talking for the morning.......if my wivve look sexy!!


    cm on babaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

    Please give three reasons or two good reasons why couples should live together before marrage?

    Taking test and need Ideas for the question above!Please give three reasons or two good reasons why couples should live together before marrage?
    if the sex aint right it wont last. prevents mistakes ffrom being made.


    just to see a preview of what you getting .consider it like a commercialif you dont like you get to change the channelPlease give three reasons or two good reasons why couples should live together before marrage?
    1. You find out way more about that person being around them 24/7 than you would on random dates.





    2. You learn about there tiny habits and hobbies that would otherwise never come up while living apart.
    1. You find out habits that could cause huge problems.


    2. You really find out how the other person handles their money.


    3. You experience what it really is like to live together, and if you can handle it or not.
    I whole heartedly believe people should cohabitate prior to marriage. Living together, in each others space, entwining two lifestyles and personalities under one roof, getting passed the over dramatized lovey stage into a more comfortable spot and still feeling that love, not having a quite place to go and be alone, seeing what its like if one is out a lot and hardly home, all these things and much more will give a better glimpse of the road ahead. I for one think its silly to wait until marriage to live together, bad idea.
    1. To find out if you are compatible.


    2. To rub it into your snooty parents' faces
    1. To know if you can actually live with them without wanting to kill them.





    2. See number 1.
    One - You wouldn't buy a pair of shoes before trying them on would you?





    Two - You wouldn't buy a car without taking it for spin would you?





    Note:Sometimes you think you the person you intend to marry until you live with them. Before marriage, everybody is usually on their best behavior. The opportunity to live with someone first, allows you to work out the kinks and accept the irritants. I would suggest people live together first but find another place to live once they get married. People can be territorial.
    They can help each other in Spelling.
    I was gonna say it gives them a chance to see how they get along and how hard it is to maintain a house hold but BILL C hitted the nail in the head.
    There aren't any.
    1) saves on gas


    2) you get to see what each other look like straight out of bed


    3) it makes divorce easier by cheapening marriage
    To find out how they manage in daily life.. if both work and both come home.. that is a different situation.. than meeting at weekends, when one has time to show oneself from ones best side only...





    See him and her in the morning.. her without the make up and him to see his attitude early in the morning.. Are there two totally different personalities.. one is very cheerful in the morning, the other is very grouchy?





    Only when you spend a lot of time together..such as living together do you really get to know the other person well.. their weaknesses and their strenghts.. and it also gives more opportunity to share important moments and make important decisions together when living together.. one should work as a team and make major decisions together.. also you get to know each others friends.. but equally important.. you only learn really when you live together if the other person is clingy or if there is a healthy basis of trust.. and quality time together is important, but it's equally important to let the other partner sometimes go out and meet friends of his or her own.. and to trust each other. not try to check up on them.. that's all something one can find out when one lives together...if one is really a good match.. and if the feelings get stronger .. and the love too, then it's a good thing to get married eventually and if the feeling fades, it's better to have had time to find that out before one takes such an important step as to get married..
    1. So they can live a life of sin and shame, dishonoring God and themselves


    2. So all the woman's friends can secretly talk about her behind her back about how he will never marry her


    3. So when they break up, they argue for months about the cars they purchased together, the plasma they leased together, and the dog they adopted
    to know what your getting your self into.


    2. to see if he or she can support you both.


    3.and i think to see on who he really is. and how he really lives like.
    Because you can and want
    1. Because marriage should be permanent and shouldn't be rushed in to.


    2. Because you want to know what you're letting yourself in for!
    economics and free sex
    There are no good reasons, so if this is an essay test, use some of the answers given, but give the other side: there is no sense of security, there is the possibility of children who will be hurt if there is a break-up, the divorce rate is greater for those who live together before marriage than those who don't, and finally, the Christian church forbids it.

    What is the funniest movie of all-time for couples to watch together?

    I need a movie guaranteed to make both my fiance and I laugh our butts off! We've both been under a lot of stress %26amp; I think laughter would really do us both some good. Any other funny suggestions are also welcomed.What is the funniest movie of all-time for couples to watch together?
    Fun With Dick and Jane...I don't think this movie did all that good at the theater but give it a try. Me and my boyfriend laughed hysterically.What is the funniest movie of all-time for couples to watch together?
    ';Love Actually';was a good movie. It was sweet, and funny.
    I would have to say either Meet the Parents or A fish called Wanda
    We thought 50 first dates was hilarious...or go with stand up comedians.
    Dodge Ball, Napoleon Dynamite, Starsky and Hutch, Black Sheep, and Canadian Bacon.
    theres something about mary!!-----or the princess bride
    50 first dates....it's hilarious
    1. my cousin vinny


    2. the odd couple


    3. the freshman
    How to lose a guy in 10 dates!!! perfect for couple to watch togehter so funny.
    Any Chevy Chase movie! He is so hilarious and very underrated.
    Just Friends (with Ryan Reynolds).... or The Ringer (with Johnny Knoxville). My boyfriend and I watched both of them, and laughed our asses off!!! (I liked Just Friends better) Also Grandma's Boy (made by Adam Sandler) is hilarious too!!!
    1-Meet the parent 1 or 2 or both would be great





    2-Anything with Adam sandler but drunked love


    (happy gilrmore, billy madison, littl nicky, longest yard, water boy)





    3-if you smoke pot, fear and laughing at las vegas with johnny depp, Halucinating





    4-miss populatiry (rob scheinder)





    5-White chicks
    The Crying Game
    The forty year old virgin!! LOL!!





    from your friendly answering girl, cheesecakelover!! LOL!! XD!! =D
    it is an older movie, but a goodie! it is called Lost in America , it has albert brooks and julie somebody. I have watched it numerous times and still laugh hard. it is good clean fun.
    Love Actually
    watch '; Forget Paris '; you will love it, not only is it funny, it also makes a point about your '; Destiny '; good luck !!
    I'd say ';50 First Dates'; would be your best bet!


    It's got all the laughs you need, plus the basic story line of Adam Sandler making Drew Barrymore fall in love with him all over again, every single day, should give your relationship a warm, fuzzy, booster shot!
    The Princess Bride


    That movie still has the best one liners





    ';AS YOU WISH';


    ';HELLO MY NAME IS INDIGO MONTOYA YOU KILLED MY FATHER PREPARE TO DIE';


    ';DEATH CAN NOT STOP TRUE LOVE';


    ';HAVE FUN STORMING THE CASTLE';
    How to lose a guy in 10 days
    check out movies on line and take your choice be nice if you 2 can pick out what you'd like to watch get Direct TV they have many choices
    Old yeller.
    Tommy Boy or Wedding Crashers
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  • Is there any type of cool modern dancing for couples? Want to take lessons?

    I don't like things like Tango or Swing dancing.. the dancing itself is ok.. but the music is gay.. I like faster beats .. and more modern music.Is there any type of cool modern dancing for couples? Want to take lessons?
    You could try rock and roll - the music is pretty fast and you'd be surprised as to how many types of music can be danced to in that style. If you're looking for something to test you out you should try Argentine Tango - its pretty heavy going and it will make you work, but if you're ruling out so many types of dance because you don't like the music perhaps you should forget about dancing. Alternatively you and your partner could take hip hop lessons together - its not partner dancing but it would be good for you to try.Is there any type of cool modern dancing for couples? Want to take lessons?
    Iam Sure There Are.
    Salsa to Latin-pop like She Bangs and Livin' La Vida Loca baby!
    salsa seems to be the ';hot'; thing right now
    First, see if there's any issue of prejudice against 50's music.





    A variant in tango is known as milonga. The beat is fast compared to other variants.
    Salsa is pretty cool and couples do that a lot.
    You actually think new music is ';cooler'; than the old?


    Swing dancing is one of the fastest ones around. I bet you'd be surprised at how much speed and work goes into it.
    If you think music is gay then dancing is not for you. Dancing is all about expression, if you can not dance to all types of music then I suggest not taking any lessons.

    What are suggestions you would have for a couples wedding shower?

    The shower is in June, the wedding in AugustWhat are suggestions you would have for a couples wedding shower?
    There are all sorts of ideas out there for Jack and Jill showers (as they are commonly referred to).





    A great site I found is:





    http://www.torontobrides.com/wedding_gam鈥?/a>





    Good luck!What are suggestions you would have for a couples wedding shower?
    have couple games like a field day or do girls against boys witha prize for the winner


    play a newlywed type games, get a long time married, new married, the couple whos party it is, and a dating couple and see who does best!
    good day,


    What about Lowes or some store like...I am a women and love Lowes..home and garden party and register at someplace like


    Home depot or Lowes...


    Keep the food simple (like BBQ) and NO games...if you must what about horseshoe or something like that...

    What are suggestions you would have for a couples wedding shower?

    The shower is in June, the wedding in AugustWhat are suggestions you would have for a couples wedding shower?
    There are all sorts of ideas out there for Jack and Jill showers (as they are commonly referred to).





    A great site I found is:





    http://www.torontobrides.com/wedding_gam鈥?/a>





    Good luck!What are suggestions you would have for a couples wedding shower?
    have couple games like a field day or do girls against boys witha prize for the winner


    play a newlywed type games, get a long time married, new married, the couple whos party it is, and a dating couple and see who does best!
    good day,


    What about Lowes or some store like...I am a women and love Lowes..home and garden party and register at someplace like


    Home depot or Lowes...


    Keep the food simple (like BBQ) and NO games...if you must what about horseshoe or something like that...

    Married Couples - How long after you were married did you have your first child?

    And how long did it take you to conceive?








    Thanks:)Married Couples - How long after you were married did you have your first child?
    We knew we would get pregnant - we were married 9 months so nearly two years by the time he was born -


    I missed my family so much (and old job) we relocated as soon as we married I felt it would fill a void. I have 0 regrets (I was 26, 28 and 30) and we're married nearly 15 years.


    I suggest having a good two years together -Married Couples - How long after you were married did you have your first child?
    my son was born 3 months before we got married but we had a good while together before i actually fell pregnant, my son is older now and we have been trying for our second for 3 months and had no luck so far,
    Been married for 7 years , had our 1st child after 3 years of marriage. We got pregnant the first month we tried.
    i was married 4 yrs, the entire 4 yrs we were ttc and found out we had a problem. Through IVF we were pregnant in the 4th year. I am due in 17 days!! :)
    our baby is due 8 days before our first anniversary. we were lucky, it was the first month we tried. i had been taking my bbt for about 3 months so i knew when i was fertile and we timed it exactly right to conceive.
    a two year adjustment after marriage is a nice time schedule.


    I planned my due dates. I waited 6 years between children
    I had my first child 4 and half years after marriage. Doc said I had to go off my bc pill to get my system back to normal and I got pregnant.
    My husband and I were told we couldn't even have children. While we never actively tried to conceive, we weren't really that vigilant about birth control either. We conceived in January, about two weeks after our four year anniversary. Imagine our shock! And now we are expecting our baby in late October.
    We started trying about a year after. Our first was born 3 years after.
    My husband and I have been together for seven years and married almost two now. We are having our first child this month, but have been trying for nearly two years. Hang in there, it will happen if it's meant to!
    I got pregnant a week after we got married. We didn't waste any time apparently.





    We weren't trying, but welcomed the surprise.





    We had been together for 2 years before we got married.
    My husband and I have been married for 5 years this past May. We had originally decided not t have children, but the mommy bug hit me and we decided to start trying last year on our anniversary. Now I'm 28 weeks pregnant with our first and we're both very excited!
    We got pregnant just two months before our 2 year anniversary. We meant to get pregnant AFTER our 2 year anniversary, but oh well. I had been on the pill for 2 years and conceived only 6 days after stopping. :) We're fertile people!
    My husband and I have been married since last September. Now 10 months. 2 months ago we started ttc but no luck yet. I am 26, he is 29... as far as we know, both very healthy... I heard it can take awhile! Go to www.mymonthlycycles.com and start tracking your cycles...it will give you a good guess each month on your fertile days. Good luck!
    It took us 3 yrs to conceive. we started trying right away.

    What does OPT mean for like an Anime couples?

    I've seen People with ShikaTema or NaruSaku as their OPT on YouTube.. What does it mean?What does OPT mean for like an Anime couples?
    OTP: One True Pairing





    I think you mixed up the letters a bit XD OTP is a common acronym used to describe the couple that someone likes the most.What does OPT mean for like an Anime couples?
    yes. its like a nickname for their fave couples.


    ShikaTema is Shikamaru and Temari


    NaruSaku is Naruto is Sakura





    please answer mine:


    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>

    Can couples get dorm rooms together at U of M?

    My boyfriend and I are going to the University of Manitoba together and are looking for a place to stay.. can we get a dorm together.. or is that even allowed? Is an apartment a better choice?Can couples get dorm rooms together at U of M?
    No way. For the dorm rooms, they will only put the same people of the same sex together.





    If you guys want to live together, you guys will have to find an apartment.Can couples get dorm rooms together at U of M?
    I would say that an apartment is the better choice, but I have heard of SOME colleges allowing couples to be together. I believe you had to be at least engaged, though. And I don't suggest rushing that. :P
    Go for the appartment...
    Apartment.
  • blush
  • Why are there are all of these childless couples in the U.S who only want to adopt a healthily newborn?

    I'm always coming across ad's %26amp; such that are advertisements for these ';loving couples'; who are willing to adopt a baby. My question(s) are...


    1.) If you want to be a parent so bad then why are you so picky. (Healthy newborns?)


    2.) Why do you only want a newborn, there are plenty of older children who need the love of parents too?


    Most white couples want only a HEALTHILY WHITE NEWBORN, it makes me ill.


    I feel that if you have a undying need to become a parent it should not matter what ';type'; of child you become a parent too as long as you get to become parents. Babies or should I say children in general are not puppies at a pound to be picked over %26amp; the cutest one taken home.Why are there are all of these childless couples in the U.S who only want to adopt a healthily newborn?
    I can see this from both sides.





    As someone who adopted three older, special-needs children, it was a very difficult route to take.





    On the other hand, people TRULY are too picky about the ';healthy white newborn'; business. Even birth children may have a little color difference, a birth defect, a health problem, or be premature. If people want to be parents, they really should be willing to take some bad with the good. That's what being a parent is all about!!Why are there are all of these childless couples in the U.S who only want to adopt a healthily newborn?
    I agree with you. Plus, I'm not understanding why so many people choose to adopt babies from other countries, when there are children right around them in the US that need homes too...
    When people say ';healthy infant'; they're usually referring to a child without a known serious condition such as heart problems, aids, extreme exposure to drugs and alcohol, etc. These are not easy issues to deal with, and many people know that they would not be the best family for this child. If given the choice most of us would choose for our kids to be healthy, but that doesn't mean that we would not still love them if they got sick later on. When we adopted we were open to many health issues, but I don't blame those who aren't.





    Also, it is untrue that most families only want caucasian babies. However, as a parent who has adopted inter-racially I understand that inter-racial adoption is not right for every family. Yet, in the US there are many couples who are open to children of any race, but still find a long wait, and many risks in adopting domestically. That is why many families including ours chose international adoption. We wanted an adoption that carried less risk of falling through, and were happy to adopt an older infant or toddler, we new that at this point in our lives we were not prepared to meet the needs of an older foster child.





    Many of the children in foster care have experienced great loss, abuse neglect, and many have emotional, behavioral or attachment issues. These kids need mature, experienced parents with lots of time, resources, and knowlegde of such issues. Many parents would not be up for the challenge and should not be made to feel bad for realizing this.





    What ';makes me ill'; is when people who know very little about the adoption process, and have not and will probably never adopt a special needs or foster child, decide to accuse others of of being ';too picky'; or ';treating children like pets'; (that one really buggs me). As an adoptive parent, one must make tough adoption related decisions based on what is best for their family, and the children they intend to adopt.





    I love my children with all of my heart and I know we made the right decisions, I am sorry if you can't understand that.








    **Reading my comment you should see that I am NOT referring to ';returning'; a child once they've been adopted if they are found to be ill. In fact I said ';that doesn't mean that they would not still love them if they got sick later on';. Also, remember that I said that my husband and I WERE open to medical conditions, I just know that not everyone could deal well with some issues.


    What I am saying is that if a child has a known medical issue then a family should be found for them that has the resourses to best provide for them (this is in the best interest of the child) When someone has a biological child and finds they are ill they have already chosen to parent that particular child, and have bonded with them already. In adoption we are talking about a list of many couples who each can offer different things to a child, it is a very different situation. Do you think it's in the best interest of the child for an agency to randomly match a them with a family without taking their known special needs into account and say ';take what you get';?
    First of all, you are VERY judgemental, and need to take a breath sister.........The desire to parent, yes is just that, however, everyone has the ';right'; to decide what they desire in a child, newborn or not.





    Have you even thought through this???? Most adoptive couples have been through hell with infertility, miscarriages, and emotional/physical turmoil.





    As far as your birth defect question, you obviously do not know anything about the adoption process. There is a long questionairre that we must fill out at the beginning of our process, where MOST do accept birth defects to a certain degree or more, as well as age, newborn to one year, or older, etc., mixed race, baby conceived by rape, mother who is a substance abuser, the list goes on and on. Therefore, do not ';stereotype'; all adoptive couples who choose domestic adoption as ';only wanting healthy newborns';...........If you think about it, most people desire a baby first, but others, may have an interest in an older child, and there are many!





    Lastly, most placements are not in the control of the adoptive parents, we don't ';pick our babies';.........normally, that is up to the birth mother after she reviews our scrapbooks, and letters. To refer to children as puppies that are picked over is mean hearted, and rediculous. The more I read your question, the more I realized your ignorance.............educate yourself on adoption please..........
    I have always been able to have children, but I have an adopted son who was an infant when he was placed with us. (Its a long story.) He was, as far as I knew, healthy; but he had gotten off to an awful beginning (and had a skull fracture).





    Whether you have a baby or adopt a baby the nurturing that baby gets in the first three years of life affects how his brain connections form, his personality, and ways in which he will emulate his parents. This is ';the parenting experience';, and it is what couples want. They want to be able to make that baby as much as their own child as a biological child would be.





    I was willing to take the chance that my son's skull fracture (and other things from a bad beginning) would not affect his future abilities because he was an infant when he came to us, and I knew I could have an impact on the type of child he would be, and I knew that he had been too young to have his emotional health affected by his beginning. He happens to be of a different ethnicity to me and his father, but that didn't matter to me.





    My kids are grown now, but if someone offered me a healthy infant of any ethnicity tomorrow I would be willing to adopt it. Again, I know that my nurturing would help that baby be a baby who fits into my family and ways.





    I know how cruel this sounds, but I have seen my share of children who are older and who have had similar bad backgrounds. I've gone on the site that shows all the serverely disabled, horribly sick, little souls who are up for adoption across the United States. On the same site that shows hard-to-place children there are older children, and it is noted they have severe emotional problems.





    Most of the children show on that site have comments made by the people responsible for placing them, and those comments are things like, ';Susie needs a mother with grown children'; or ';Mike needs to be in a home without other children'; or ';Jenny needs 24-hour care and parents who will be able to change her tubing';. Some of the children have comments like ';is working on not being aggressive'; or ';is working on a problem with chronic stealing'; or ';needs someone who can help him overcome anger';.





    I've sat here at those times when I looked at that site (just to see if there may be a two-year-old I may wish to adopt, now that I'm older), and had tears rolling down my face as I scrolled through that site. Still, the fact is even though I've been a good mother to my two biological children and one adopted child, and even though I could be a perfectly capable and good mother to a two-year-old who was healthy and wasn't terrifly damaged by a bad beginning, I, personally, would not be capable of being the kind of mother those other children are said to need.





    Do biological mothers get to choose healthy babies? Of course not. They take what they get, but they would never have elected to have a severely sick baby who may die in months. Do they babies desperately need homes and parents to love them? Sure. Some of them, though, are in foster homes with foster mothers who are very skilled at the type of care special needs children require. ';Regular old parents'; don't always have that kind of skill, and they know it.





    There is also an element to being an adopted mother that nobody likes to talk about: As someone who decided to adopt a child who needed someone to give him a good childhood, I can tell you that not all adoptive parents cannot have children themselves. Some decide to adopt because a child needs them. Even for those who can't have children themselves, though, the other part of adoption is that adoptive parents are giving some child who needs a home a home. That's not such a horrible thing to do, and if parents know that they are ';just regular people'; and not particularly skilled at caring for sick children or severely emotionally damaged children they know that all they can be is parents of a healthy infant. We live in a society, too, where many people frown upon inter-racial adoptions these days; so white people (who adopt more than other races to the best of my understanding) may believe they're only supposed to ask for white babies.





    Many people don't feel strong enough or capable enough of dealing with a very sick child properly or with losing that child, and many people do not feel able to deal with a child who is so damaged he or she may set a house on fire, hurt animals or other children, etc. As awful and cruel a reality as that may be, few biological or adoptive parents would elect that kind of difficulty, especially if they have seen how such difficulties turn lives permanently inside out, upside down, and worse.





    I feel just as you do that sick babies and children and troubled children deserve good, permanent, parents who love them; but the other side of that is this: Just because a couple cannot produce their own children why are they the ones who should take on the overwhelming burdens, heartbreak, and struggles of hard-to-place children? Life has already given them the heartbreak of infertility. They may not be able to take on more heartbreak.





    Why is their wish to have what most other parents have, which is an infant they can raise their way and without having to pick up the pieces of abusive, drug-addicted, or alcoholic biological mothers?





    My son will be 31 soon. Because he was an infant when he was removed from his biological mother he didn't have a whole lot of emotional baggage, but even with that he had some retina damage from a poor prenatal environment and some learning problems that were most likely associated with his not feeling secure in early infancy (www.zerotothree.org has a piece about brain connections and how immune systems and stress responses can be affected for a person's whole life when infants aren't nurtured correctly).





    Just about a week ago 60 Minutes had a whole thing on children who had been adopted as somewhat older children (and one was an infant) and how they have anger problems and behavior problems. A program to reunite these children with their biological familes was put in place, and even then when the children met their biological families nobody would/could really take care of them. One judge wouldn't let one teenage girl go with her biological mother because the girl was still so much of a behavior problem he didn't think the mother could deal with her.





    When you're a normal, capable, decent, potential mother (biological or adoptive), and you know that you have the skill and love to nurture an infant into being a child who doesn't have anger issues or isn't devastated by fetal alcohol syndrome you can actually feel as if your skill and love will best be used by changing the future of an infant because there is still hope that the infant will benefit most from your care.





    Also, as a person who has never done drugs and who has parenting skills and who ate properly during my own pregnancies (I did have one awful miscarriage anyway), I felt that my children would not have the severe medical conditions and anger and behavior problems that are associated with abusive or drug-addicted biological mothers. I was more than ready to deal with any problems any of my three children had (and I did have some challenges picking up the pieces of the adopted child's biological mother); but as someone who did nothing to bring on drug-associated, alcohol-associated, or abuse-associated conditions in my children I didn't really feel like asking for those difficulties. Selfish? Maybe. The other side to that, though, is that because I knew I couldn't handle such difficulties and heartbreak (among other reasons that aren't as selfish) I would never do things that would bring those problems into my life.





    Most people are probably like me - they probably just don't feel able to handle the overwhelming difficulties of caring for a child 24 hours a day (trach tubes, shunts, whatever many of those babies have). Most people - selfish or not - don't want to adopt an older child who may be a sociopath, who may bring havoc into their lives, or who may grow up with anger issues in spite of being cared for and loved.





    Most people find it heartbreaking and awful and sickening to think of children who need to be adopted and who are ';hard to place';; and I don't think most people see these children as puppies at a pound (I, personally, can't even think about the awful situation that goes on with dogs and cats either).





    It is normal for people to expect to have their children (or adopt them), raise them, and then to go on and live their lives as parents of grown children. Expecting people to elect to take on the very difficult and heartbreaking sacrifice of knowing they must always be acting as a nurse to a child is, in most case, expecting more than people are able to take on.





    You're right: The situation makes me sick too, but the people who sicken me and who ought to be in prison for life are the vegetables who take drugs and alcohol when they're pregnant, who let live-in boyfriends beat their children, who beat their own children, or leave them in cribs until they develop mental retardation. These are the people who are responsible for creating babies and children who are so severely sick and damaged no ';regular'; parents are able to confidently take on all the heartbreak, worries, care, and problems of these poor little souls; and it is a rare person who can promise to give up his or her life for a child who is so damaged and not their biological child.





    Most of us find ways to deal with the awful stuff that life puts on us. Few of us have the emotional resources to ask for yet more difficulties and sadness and challenges.





    The young couple who just wants to be a family like everyone else should not be seen as horrible because they know that an infant can be raised as their own child, while a hard-to-place, older baby or child can never be truly their own child simply because they wouldn't have the opportunity to help build brain connections in that child (and because that child would come to their family with baggage and damage that would be more than they could handle).





    Young couples who want to adopt usually want to adopt because they want to build a family just like everyone else does. They aren't particularly in the market for becoming full-time nurses, social workers, or prison guards; and they aren't looking to build a life of difficulty. Understanding that the motive is to build a family is one motive, and wishing to help a child who needs special care is a different motive, may help people understand why adoptions are not all the same and why the build-a-family couple only opts for a certain type of adoption.





    People aren't generally looking for the ';cutest'; baby. They're looking for the same, normal, life that most other people get to take for granted when they have biological children. Its not about getting a ';type'; of child. Its about getting a child whose development can be impacted nurturing the most.





    Backwards as the reasoning may sound, I can tell you that as the mother of an adopted infant I felt that I made the biggest impact because of the way nurturing can impact an infant's development. In my own way, I see that I have made a bigger difference in this one young man's life than I could ever have made in an older child's life. He is one less damaged person in this world, and I don't think that's such a bad thing.
    I wholeheartedly agree, but some people just enjoy the experience of raising a child from birth and giving him their own name. There are many challenges involved with adopting an older child that some people just don't feel equipped to handle. I applaud anyone who wants to adopt.
    too true. Being a parent is fulfilling no matter the age or health of the child.
    Very true. I should say it is a ongoing tradition. No one think like you. When they adopt any babe they treat as product more than human.
    i think some pp are just being to picky any child needs a loving hom no matter what age or race they are
    It really isn't that simple.





    A parent has to be able to parent a child in a positive and nurturing environment. Not all people are capable of parenting a child outside of their own race. So many would not qualify, even if they wanted to. And others simply do not want to.





    We should allow children to be parented by parents who are not 100% enthusiastic about parenting them! Whether bio or through adoption. Children should be wanted and cherished and valued and treasured -- for who they are. If there is hesitation, or questions, or doubts, then the answer should be -- no.





    And contrary to what you may think, almost all African American, Bi-racial and Hispanic babies are adopted by Caucasian parents.





    And, true enough, most parents, biologic or adoptive, hope their children will be healthy! But there are plenty of parents out there who have a special gift for, desire to adopt and parent and love and care for a child who is not healthy. All newborns in the U. S, regardless of their race or health, have, with few exceptions, thousands of parents waiting to adopt them.





    It is the troubled and passed over older children who are not adopted in the U.S. They often require lots of care and patience, as well as therapy and guidance as well as love. We should be ashamed of the fact that we, the ';greatest country on earth'; have over 500,000 of our children in foster care! Deplorable.





    We must find ways to support, educate, teach and qualify BIOLOGICAL parents to parent, in similar ways as require adoptive parents to be approved to adopt. Then we would have fewer children growing up in the bleak conditions of foster care!
    As much as I hate to say it, if I had a choice when adopting a child, I would want a healthy newborn as well. Why? Because with a newborn, it's a much easier transition. It's not like you're just coming into a 10-year-old's life; plus, you can share the memories of their first steps, first words, first food.. everything.


    As far as race is concerned, it's just natural that white couples would want a white child. I'm not saying this is a good thing at all, but you just have to realize that people want normal lives.





    All children need love, though.
    For one, where did you get the ';statistic'; that most people want white newborns? That is incredibly not true, about your other points. Couples want newborns so they make the special parent-to-child connection before the child realizes that he/she is being tossed around. And I seriously doubt that you would not prefer a healthy newborn over one with medical conditions. It is sad, but don't judge others for maybe not being able to AFFORD an unhealthy child. I agree when you say children should not be puppies at a pound, etc. etc., Basically it just comes down to what couples want, obviously a couple isn't going to want an unhealthy child, so there's your answer.





    Now when it comes to already having that child, NO child should be loved more or less depending on what race, color, intelligence, or medical conditions they might have. Adopting, in a way is choosing, and people always choose what they want, even if they don't mean to.
    Please share your experience of adoption.





    I don't wish to sound attacking or belittling becasue I don't know you, but it sounds like you have not experienced some of life's roller coasters that would lead a couple to adoption.





    How many years of infertility have you gone through or multiple miscarriages? How many times has your dream to experience pregnancy, delivery, bonding, nursing been shot?


    For many couples this is a reality. Once they have mourned and grieved for the baby that will never be, adoption is another option for parenthood. And there are so many ways to build a family, what works for one couple does not work for another. It's outrageous that you would judge people unless you have been in their shoes-so please share your story.





    When we crossed that road, we researched and went through family counseling to decide what is best for us. At the time, we learned more and more about adopting through foster care, and all the baggage and trauma these kiddos have been through. Unfortunately, we did not follow through with the adoption. But I am so grateful for the learning experience. Adopting older kids, ill, or of different race/ethnicity is NOT for everyone. Perhaps we will adopt in the future, and I do advocate for foster care adoption. But I would never dream of insulting the general public for their decisions.
    it makes me ill yoo i mean u shouldn't be picky pick a chid who is in need of ur help give the child a home dont be picky love them care for them treat them like ur own . i doesn't matter who or what color or wat thier health is love them and treat them right . this goes to every body
    i never thought about that, but you're right. i guess people just want the ';picture-perfect'; family and won't settle for anything less...
    It seems odd yet somehow, at least in some cases, understandable. For a while there, several years back, people were having their adopted children taken away when the mothers changed their minds or the fathers suddenly came out of the woodwork denying any previous knowledge about the child and demanding to have it. The courts found in favor of the biological parents and the children were taken from their homes. Additionally, with so much drug abuse, people are afraid of what kind of problems they will end up with, ';potentially damaged'; children. People of whatever race are not always allowed to adopt children that do not at least resemble their race because some genius has determined that it's not healthy for the child. Like having no parents is! And some are simply shallow and refuse to have anything that will not resemble a ';perfect family'; as they perceive one should be. This is why people of better means adopt children from overseas, they're not as likely to be held to the same standards as they are at home and it makes their process of adoption easier.





    Sadly it's the unwanted children in this country (U.S.A.) that suffer the consequences of not feeling loved or taught right from wrong and they end up as another component of our social epidemic.





    On a very personal note, my husband and I haven't and will not be able to have children. Although I have never wanted to have children myself, my husband was very eager to be a dad and I said that I'd do it but it never happened for us. When we started to realize that we would not be able to have children ourselves, we discussed adoption. This was around the time that all these biological parenst were taking the children back and it was all over the news. Out of fear of having a child ripped away from us, we opted to leave it alone. The truth is that I don't believe that I have a single maternal instinct which is why I never wanted children. That said, if we had adopted and they tried to take the child from us, there's no telling what I would have been capable of not to have my child taken away. The fact is that mothers and fathers are those who make themselves mothers and fathers by their actions, not those who conceive and birth. If this was the case, no child would be unwanted.
    Wow, so many questions here. First, if you have your own baby and you have health coverage, you are not paying thousands of dollars just to adopt a child. So, right there, maybe people feel they have a right to be ';pickey'; because they have had to squrimp and save every penny for a long time. And, on top of that, they have likely gone through infertility treatments, feeling of inadequecy at not being able to give birth to a child, etc. It can be very difficult. Also, people have to be honest with themselves about what they can handle. Many people don't feel they can handle certain special needs. You can argue that birth moms don't have the choice, but they do. You should check out adoption photolistings for foster children to see how many of them have special needs! (Trust me, I am a foster parent.)





    Yes, people may want to adopt children of their own race. It is very uncomfortable when you have a child that does not look like you and you are standing in line at the bank and the person in front of you asks if your child is really yours. Have you experienced this? It is a matter of choice. I hate to say it, but it is really up to the person adopting. If the birth mom doesn't like it, she doesn't have to pick that family.





    Babies in this country vs. babies in another country? I think there are people fighting for newborns over here. Many of these infants will get adopted. The children from other countries don't have as much chance of getting adopted. There is nothing wrong with giving a chance to a child that might never have one. In fact, many of these people adopt specail needs children or sibling groups when they adopt from another country.





    As far as adopting older children, there are many difficulties involved. I am a foster parent and I plan to adopt some older children, as well as an infant. However, the older children come with a ton of baggage. One minute they love you, the next they are telling you that you aren't their mom and they don't want you to be. Yes, you still love them, but it isn't easy. It isn't for everyone. You can't say you are going to adopt them and then decide it is too hard. I know these children need loving homes, but adopting an older child is something you need to be sure about before you do it. If you have experienced this, you know what I am talking about. If not, you shouldn't be asking why people don't do something that you aren't willing to do.





    There are so many issues here. It is never bad to give a loving home to a child who needs one. Wether white, african american, any other race, american or from another country, newborn or 18. Maybe you should think of adoption in those terms.
    I understand where you are coming from.What gets me is why are these people going to different countrys to get these babies when we have so many right here in the US waiting for adoption.
    People picks their own races, because they don't want to be questioned by others when you go out with your child.


    They really could bring up the whole issues of your private lives, for example, infertility, what race is your husband and are you cheating on your spouse, are you promiscuous on your sex life


    I remember I babysite for a white couple when I was a teenager, I brought him to the liberary and was pounded by a whole bunch of questions. I bet some might think I stole him
    i would have to disagree many couples go to developing countries to adopt babies of all different races. Many couples who can not concieve consider any child they get a precious gift
    hey if they have a choice, who can blame them





    true for people picking partners too





    if I was picking at the orphanage, and I'm not at this point, I would want one who is already at least 9, very smart, funny, with a sense of humor, bipolar and/or addhd also, cute is nice too
    What parent wants a sickly child? If you can afford all the medical bills, sure, why not? Most parents, can't. A lot of children, even healthy infants develop problems down the road, there's no perfect child.





    As for white people wanting white children, if I were to adopt, I'd want a white child. Why? Because it sucks for a lot of kids who are completely out of sorts color wise in their family, then they have to explain it, etc. unless their parents continue to adopt internationally. Believe me, I have friends that were internationally adopted and they hated being the ';asian'; kid in the house or the ';black'; kid in the house. Some don't care and that's great.





    Oh and lets add in the other races here, how many black parents adopt white kids or asian kids? How many Asian parent adopt white or black kids? Seriously. Find me a statistic that shows it's only whites that are particular.





    Newborns give adoptive parents the ability to raise them from infancy, the parts they miss if they adopt an older child. Some couples do the infant first and don't mind a bit of an older child down the road.





    The world is not perfect and all accepting as you may be. Don't judge everyone for wanting a somewhat healthy child who ';blends'; into their families. It's not a ';pretty child'; over an ';ugly'; child, it's, I'm spending 30K and can't afford massive medical bills right off the bat.