Do fighting married couples have a long term relationship?

do you think its healthy to live with a person who is extremely aggressive and abusive and immatured and he emotionally and mentally black mails you due to his weakness and failures in life ? how can you change such a person and what is the solution to this.....Do fighting married couples have a long term relationship?
You can't change him. Get the heck out of that relationship and that house before somebody carry you outta there with a body bag! Girl, what's wrong with you?!!!!!!!Do fighting married couples have a long term relationship?
Are you fighting, arguing, or have a heated discussion? There鈥檚 a big difference.





People do not change. They may learn to act more civilizes or get along with others, but their characteristics and mannerisms are there from the moment of their conception. They do not change!





You don鈥檛 say how long you have been married, so it鈥檚 a little difficult to accurately answer this question, but if he鈥檚 mean and nasty to you now, he just might always be that way, unless you talk to him about it to find out why he鈥檚 like that?





If you鈥檙e newlyweds, you can expect some trying times and turbulence for at least a year, because you are adjusting to the married life and sharing everything, which takes longer or is harder for some to adjust to the transition from single life to married life, because a lot changes when you get married. No more coming and going when you want to. However, if you can make it through the first few years of marriage, then you have won half the battle.





However, marriage is a never ending work in progress and you cannot give up or get out at every little bump in the road. If you鈥檙e married for many years, there will be many little bumps and valleys to climb up, over and above. It鈥檚 a give and take relationship, and there has to a negative and positive personality in the relationship. If you鈥檙e both the same it gets boring. Someone has to be uplifting and funny, while the other keeps everything grounded. But at the same time you have to have a lot in common. Both parties have to be willing to compromise and to swallow their pride from time to time. A lot of understanding, trust, and honesty go a long way.





Don鈥檛 nag over the little things (nothing fights). Make sure you think things through, before starting an argument. Not hanging up his towel or putting the lid back on the toothpaste is really quite silly things to argue or nit-pick about. If he鈥檚 spending money you don鈥檛 have or not spending any time at all with you, then its time to bring out the big guns!





If you have been married for a while and things are still rocky, perhaps you should both seek counseling. If he won鈥檛 go, you should go on your own to see if you can gain any knowledge on your own that might help save your marriage.





That鈥檚 why young people should not get married, just to see what it鈥檚 like to be married. It鈥檚 a serious union, with hard long winding roads. It has many ups and down, peaks and valley, and it should never be taken lightly or for granted. Good Luck!
you can't change anyone, you can only change yourself or how you deal with the other person. If the abuse is bad in that you fear for your life... I believe the marriage covenant has been broken and you can divorce. That's what I did. God does not want us to live in fear of the person that we are supposed to be one with.


Now since then I remarried a really sweet guy, we argue just like any normal couple (no abuse) just disagreeing, but we can live long term together because there is mutual love and respect. my husband would never hurt me or lay a hand on me because he loves me. if someone hits you, they don't respect you and I don't care how much they say they love you, they are lying and they don't love you.
As you were typing this, did YOU think it is healthy? You can't change someone significantly. Little things like teaching them to put the toilet seat down or not to leave their panties hanging on the shower rack. But you will never change someones personal makeup. It is what it is. I have been married for 14 years and it is the truth i am giving you. If this is the type of person you are with then you have set yourself up for a life of misery. Out of all the fish in the sea you have caught yourself a minnow.
First of all, I am sure that this person was not like this when you got married. Try to talk to them into going to talk to your local priest or pastor about this. If they won't then you need to try to get counseling in another way. If they still refuse to do that then there is no hope and it might be time to call it quits.





At this point in the marriage, it is really up to you if you want to try to keep it. Physical abuse is nothing to take lightly! It only gets worse and eventually leads to death.





My prayers are with you!
No way.


But you can always get the best of someone by appreciating his/her good parts and they may someway, sometimes to cooperate.


I say ''sometimes'' because it's obviously that only that person's will is the one who shall move the mountain alongside with your smile :)


''Fight'' is GOOD only for the cool ones, to get them hotter :))
You can't change him but he can change himself.


Men keep emotionally maturing until about 30.





And no, does not sound healthy.
you can't change someone, only they can change themselves...and life is too short to stay with someone who is abusive. at least in my opinion. been there, done that...LEFT HIM!
duhhhhh........ if you really don't know the answer, then you deserve to stay and try to change him.....have fun, try not to get beaten to death
no it's not healthy, you can't change a person like this. the solution to this is you either put up with it or you leave.
you CANNOT change a person unless he takes conscious moves. I tried to do all that crap but my husband keeps bringing his old self in to the family.
Only he can change- you can't make a man change! It is not healthy to stay in a relationship like this.
A healthy relationship depends on everything..how you communicate, interact, feel, work around schedules, living arrangements. The person you live with may have faults that I would find livable where others would leave within a week. It depends on each of us and how we view what is in front of us. It also depends on what the topics that start this behavior are and how they start and who starts them. It depends on how long it has been going on and to what degree the person is allowed to get to before it is considered abuse by the other. There is usually a trigger to the behavior and how it is handled depends on the wording and structure of the argument. Trying to change a person if they don't want to change is very difficult and darn near impossible. If you look at the person verses looking at the situation and how it is being handled then the person sees fingers being pointed and will build a wall of defense. It is easier to view what causes the outburst and how they are handled by you..and then change your behavior and the way you display feedback...this in return will change the way they process it and respond..so your not changing them...your changing the structure of the situation and there for they change because changes are being made that causes a different response. For example...my husband and I are very stuborn...we will not give and we will stand our ground. It got us no where, and solved nothing. I just simply changed the way I handled the situation..Instead of giving feedback that encouraged fighting..I would think before I'd answer and say things like ';I feel... or I understand how you feel..or I don't want to fight with you lets talk about this when we are not so mad...or when I see you do this I feel...'; that made a world of difference just by using I verses you statements...when you use you...it is negative and it puts the person in a hot seat...when you use I it states how you see things and how you feel that allows them to think and feel without feeling blamed. It is also good to assess the dispute..is it really worth fighting about..pick your battles..if it isn't going to get you anywhere then let it go if you can. There are reasons why we are drawn to people of this nature..one must first figure out why you are attractive to this personality before you can change things. Chances are there are probably issues with oneself that draws them to such a person. When you find out who you are it is harder for someone else to have impact with this kind of behavior because you don't allow it to control the situation..and you don't offer fuel to the fire..which leaves them stuck. If one realizes why they chose this person and why they live in this situation..then one can change it...weather it is changing how you respond...or realizing ones own weaknesses and getting out of the relationship all together. If you really love the person..a hundred people can tell you to leave and it is a waste of words. Telling you to change the person doesn't support the whole picture...one must view the situation from the outside in when you are involved. Chances are it is both that trigger the issues. People like this will feed off of those who allow this behavior..and why would one allow this behavior is the question that really needs answered first..then you set the setting for why it happens...when...where...and to what extent it goes to. Feeling good about yourself allows you to stand up for yourself and make healthy choices. If you don't stand up for yourself then you allow others to influence and take charge of the situation. Abuse normally triggers to ones past..not always..but normally. Look at both your past and see where one could have been influenced to do or allow this behavior to surface...talk about it and see how it is affecting your life and how both of you can better from a change. It does take two, and if you refuse to leave...then you need to adjust your life to influence change in the relationship. Don't allow his manipulation to influence you. Tell him it is his choice to do what he does and if he wants to act like this then you don't want to be around him. Don't allow him to place fear. He can only black mail you if you allow..so don't give him anything that allows that. And be honest with him and use I statements that express how you feel and that your serious...I know I can't change you...but I am telling you I have had enough of this...I feel like you and I need to change this or there is going to be no relationship soon because I don't feel that this is helping either one of us to grow..try that kind of opening...give the person something to think about without pointing fingers. And us time alone to think as to why you accept this...and how do you respond to this behavior...and do you influence it...and how long has it been going on...is this the only relationship that this has happened in...and what was your childhood like? did you see others in this role...did you live with issues...most