Can I invite some couples' kids but not others?

Oh, the joys of guest lists. We are not having a child-free wedding, but we also don't really want to invite everyone's kids. Basically, we would invite the kids of our closest family members (siblings, etc.) and also kids of people who have to travel really far in case that actually makes things easier for them.





But we have some friends who are local who have very young children -- we're talking from ages 2 years and below -- and frankly I don't want to invite them. If the parents want to come to the wedding, it won't be as difficult for them to find sitters since they are local. Plus, these kids are just so little and we're having a tiny wedding. I just don't know if the parents will show up and then wonder why their kids weren't invited while there are a few other children present.





Some people say you need to pick a rule and stick with it -- like no kids under 5, etc. (Though I don't see any proper way of announcing this set age requirement.) Others seem to think that if you are inviting some kids, you should invite everyone's kids. Still others think that heck, it's your guest list and you can invite whoever you want!





What do you think?Can I invite some couples' kids but not others?
Proper etiquette does state you need to pick a rule and stick with it. Honestly if you don't do it that way it's like you are favoring some people over others and it can cause hurt feelings. That being said etiquette is not by any means law so if you choose not to follow the rule that's your choice, but be prepared for alot of people feeling upset and having the reaction of ';how come so and so could bring her kids and I couldn't';.








http://www.idofoundation.org/resources/e鈥?/a>Can I invite some couples' kids but not others?
You can't invite some people's kids and not others.(You can but it's very rude.) I think you should invite everyone and their kids and have a kiddie corner and the reception. For example, Have little kid chairs and a table or two, coloring books, games, etc. And for the ceremony have lolly pops available to keep the kids quite.
No, it would be unfair and it is like you will be favoring one and not the other. I have a cousin who has 2 small children and they are very difficult. I had to mention it to them that there children are invited and he made the decisions to make it a date night with his wife and him. So maybe they will do the same.
it's your day so don't worry, people need to accept what you want. If someone specifically asks to bring their kids then think about it but just dont put the kids names on the invites. People have got to let you have your own way on your wedding day.
Invite the children of close friends and family. Explain prior to sending the invitations out , to the other guest why only certain children will be there .
You probably have to invite all kids, or no kids at all. You can't say that some couples may bring their children, but others may not.


You can establish rules however, such as no kids under five.
Playing favorites never works and only gets you into more trouble than it's worth....make a rule and have everyone adhere to it.
All the kids or no kids.
I agree... You can invite whoever you want!! We don't want a lot of kids either... We're inviting who is closest to us, and that's it... If people get offended, they get offended... It's your wedding, you do what you want...


Weddings should be an adult event... Parents need to get out of the house and ENJOY themselves without the kiddies....


That's how I feel.


I don't think there is any ';proper'; way of announcing a set age... That's why we're just inviting which kids we want...


The others we will address the envelopes as ';Mr. and Mrs. Smith'; oppose to ';The Smith Family';...


Some still may bring their kids, but don't let it get to you... Just shrug it off...
Here's what I think:





-It's your wedding, you're paying for it, invite who you want





-If the Smith family has well-behaved kids, and the Jones family lets their kids run around like they're bats out of hell, why would you want the Jones kids at your event? (Such line of reasoning gets sticky if these folks are relatives.)





-If you invite kids, keep them with their families so the families will be disciplining them and watching them





-Don't set an age limit, invite who you want. I don't think this is ';discrimination'; - that's like saying it's discrimination to invite one neighbor and not the other - no, not discrimination, you like the one and don't like the other!





-If you choose not to invite some, be very prepared to explain your reasoning. Do you have a classy, graceful answer? If not, those parents will be offended.
You have to draw a line.


I say family children yes


friend children no


That way people will realize that family is more important than friends, and your friends won't be angry, b/c it was across the board only family.





i'm sure your friends from out-of -town will have their parents babysit. Grandmas %26amp;pas love to watch the little ones.





I was recently invited to a wedding with my 10 year old, but we are not bringing her b/c we could use some time to ourselves.
I know many people would be offended if they were told their children couldn't attend a wedding and then they show up and see other kids there. I could see only having children of family members, but that's it. I understand your reasoning about children of out-of-towners coming, and I know you're trying to be considerate, but it's a bit too pick-and-choosy and will be seen as rude.


Depending on where you're getting married, maybe you can hire a couple teenagers and set up a room for children to hang out, or set up a table in the reception area with coloring books, etc., to keep kids occupied.
I'm having the same problem...





i don't want kids at my wedding. i don't think it's a place for children to be at....personally i don't think kids should be subjected to a bunch of drinking adults nor is it fair to for adults to be constantly looking out for kids running around the dance floor etc.





with that said, my fiance's mother insists on having children...it's really only one family with kids we have to invite from their side. so with my side, i'm only inviting kids from relatives that are out of town...people that are in town have easier access to babysitters and i know that they will not be offended.





we are really only inviting close family children and it's not many...if you think people will be offended, talk to them before and explain your situation. plus it's really expensive for kids to come (at my reception site, we have to pay the open bar fee for kids too, even though they are not drinking!)





good luck! it's a sticky situation.......i know!!
You do have to invite all or none of the children. If you know some teenagers needing a few extra dollars have a room set up for them to babysit the children.





I am having a children friendly wedding. My FBIL and his wife's twins will be less than a year when we get married, but I cannot imagine not having them there. I would never select certain kids over others.





Most parents will elect to not bring their children. They will want a date night, but you cannot expect some to be invited to bring children and others to not.





One or the other!